Sunday, August 13, 2006

"'Bitch,' 'pussy,' 'balls' and 'fag' were used twice apiece. A variety of other words, such as 'tits' and 'cock' were each used once."

Whilst desperately trying to find an episode guide (I missed one! the horror!) for my favorite (and only) television show I actually watch, "Rescue Me" I stumbled across the only decent one...

"Television Without Pity" doesn't do RM, wtf?

Turns out it was this, a "parent's guide" to tv. Meticulously done, I wondered if the person who actually wrote the recap, and counted how many times the word "blowjob" (is it actually a compound word, or is it really two?) was uttered, was he/she offended or turned on...?

The best parts are the "examples" of the foul language, nasty violence and raunchy sex-- actual bits of dialogue rewritten for...my pleasure. I'm quite pissed I didn't get to see this in action, but damn, I still chuckled anyway.

Tommy, Lou and Franco are stoned from inhaling marijuana plant smoke during a fire. They discuss whether they would have sex with Heather Mills McCartney. Franco says he would. Tommy: "Really? Even though she only has one leg?"

Franco: "Tommy, it's a bonus, man...It gives you an extra sexual position to enjoy, for one. That being, her laying on her side, okay, the side with the leg. You straddle said leg and do her sideways without worrying about the extra pesky leg getting in the way."

Tommy: "What about the stump?"

Franco: "I didn't think about that. Pass."

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