Thursday, April 24, 2008

How Bush got elected twice.....? I think.

Fucking American Fucking Idol, man.

It really sucked watching it last night. I kinda wanna quit, cuz it's painful now. The songs are so shitty and the people left really suck.

The only two people I actually liked are gone. The hot Aussie, Michael Johns, who had a band, The Rising (!!!) that was signed to Madge's Maverick label (!!!!)is gone. He fucking rocked, and was easy on the eyes. Now, our fave Irish Lass, Carly, who loved Heart and could belt it almost as good as Ann, is gonesville and it really makes me hate the people that must vote. (that goes for this and prior presidential elections, methinks.) Oy.

(((Of all the lil' coincidences: We watched a Six Feet Under after seeing Carly get the boot, that referenced A.I. in the most on-point way possible. Brenda went ranting about her fucked up marriage problems and her co-worker asked if they could instead talk about American Idol. Brenda didn't watch--yeah, yeah, yeah, I didn't used to, either and I have LOADS of friends who wouldn't be caught dead, yada yada. But I can relate. It's all I've got sometimes--to talk about, that is. At my work, that is. And sometimes that kinda fluff beats the hell outta real life. Ya dig?)))

It was Andrew Lloyd Webber night (so awesome)and Carly did "Superstar" (see lyrics below) and I couldn't have been happier. That was prolly my favorite "old-song-discovered" in my early child hood (were talkin' 9 or 10, here.) Andrew Lloyd Webber is actually one of my all-time faves. One of the most clear, joyful musical memories of my childhood involved ritualistically listening to a cassette tape of A.L.W.'s "greatest hits"--if you can even call it that. I would walk around our apartment building (I had a very vivid imagination and would go on "adventures," discovering new nooks and crannies on each floor) with a fat (by today's iPod standards) YELLOW Sony Walkman. It was my favorite toy.

Here were the contents of that lovely "hits" package: (Thank you, Amazon! Seeing the original cover really brought me back!)

1. Phantom Of The Opera
2. Take That Look Off Your Face
3. All I Ask Of You
4. Don't Cry For Me Argentina
5. Magical Mr. Mistoffeles
6. Variations 1-4
7. Superstar
8. Memory
9. Starlight Express
10. Tell Me On A Sunday
11. The Music Of The Night
12. Another Suitcase In Another Hall
13. I Don't Know How To Love Him
14. Pie Jesu

But, "Superstar" has to take the fucking cake!

I mean, dig these fucking words:


Every time I look at you I don't understand
Why you let the things you did get so out of hand.
You'd have managed better if you'd had it planned.
Why'd you choose such a backward time in such a strange land?
If you'd come today you could have reached a whole nation.
Israel in 4 BC had no mass communication.

Don't you get me wrong
I only want to know
Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, Who are you? What have you sacrificed?
Jesus Christ Superstar, Do you think you're what they say you are?


Tell me what you think about your friends at the top
Who'd you think besides yourself's the pick of the crop?
Buddha, was he where it's at? Is he where you are?
Could Mohammed move a mountain, or was that just PR?
Did you mean to die like that? Was that a mistake, or
Did you know your messy death would be a record breaker?
Don't you get me wrong. I only want to know.


Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, Who are you? What have you sacrificed?
Jesus Christ Superstar, Do you think you're what they say you are?(Repeat)

I mean. Shit. The New York Times said it was too controversial for the run-of-the-mill Idol watcher (read: super religious and conservative. like a big chunk of the U.S. of A.)and *that's* why it killed her off, in the end. I mean, it must be...she was just too damn GOOD and lovable to entertain any other theory...well, maybe tatts? but, that's insane...maybe it's both. And maybe I should never try to figure out the minds of Americans. Word.

When I was a kid and was so into this song, I thought it was fucking righteous! It rocked and it was so soulful--Murray Head sings the shit out of it--soul powerhouse. It seemed like such an indictment of Jesus (well, it is sung by Judas, after all.) The best line is that "Could Mohammed move a mountain, or was that just PR?" Back at that young age, I had it in my head that "P.R." was basically "B.S." like, advertising/public relations = bullshit. Which, now at my old age is still the way I perceive it.

Also, the "Did you mean to die like that? Was that a mistake, or
Did you know your messy death would be a record breaker?" was one of the coolest things for my young ears, too. Not being raised with too much religious indoctrination, I was always (still am) fascinated and repulsed by the whole "Passion" thing--the fetishization of Jesus's death. It's some creepy, heavy shit, that's for sure.

SO, all that being said, I guess it's no wonder America couldn't handle the sassy, soulful, strong Irish Carly singing about Jey-zus. That kind of singing about him, anyway. And, that explains why I'm broken-hearted about it too--she had the chutzpah to sing it and sing it hard.

Fare thee well, Lass, you will be better off outta that Hell Hole of awful Karaoke Land. See you on the flip side.

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