before this becomes a fansite...

Um, just *one* more thing...

3. FAKE TALES OF SAN FRANCISCO

Fake Tales of San Francisco
Echo through the room
More point to a wedding disco
Without a bride or groom

There's a super cool band yeah
With their trilbys and their glasses of white wine
And all the weekend rock stars in the toilets
Practicing their lines

I don't want to hear you
(Kick me out, kick me out)
I don't want to hear you no
(Kick me out, kick me out)

Fake Tales of San Francisco
Echo through the air
And there's a few bored faces in the back
All wishing they weren't there

And as the microphone squeaks
A young girl's telephone beeps
Yeah she's dashing for the exit
she's running to the streets outside
"Oh you've saved me," she screams down the line"
The band weren’t very good
And I'm not having a nice time”

Yeah but his bird thinks it's amazing, though
So all that's left
Is the proof that love's not only blind but deaf

He talks of San Francisco, he's from Hunter's Bar
I don't quite know the distance
But I'm sure that's far
I'm sure that's pretty far

I'd love to tell you all my problem
You're not from New York City, you're from Rotherham
So get off the bandwagon, and put down the handbook
Get off the bandwagon and put down the handbook

BUY the full length album in the States for a normal, domestic-release price (not the $49.99 Japanese import) on February 21st.

IN THE MEANTIME...iTunes, babe. That's where I've been getting my fix. It's an addictive, fast, smooth, hot drug.

I hate hipsters.

Read Turner quote above.

more "monkey madness"

It's everywhere.

From the latest New York Times piece...

The debut Arctic Monkeys album, "Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not" (Domino)...has sold over 360,000 copies in the last week, making it the fastest-selling debut album in British history.

PS. My friend Jeremy, who lives in Budapest, made me seethe with jealousy today (part of his email to me):

So I went to the Alan McGee thing last night. Amazing. You would have died 3 times over. He played everything from Oasis to the Stones to the Libertines to the Verve to Pulp. It goes on. The first three songs when we got there were Common People, Last Night (strokes) and Cigarettes and Alcohol. He ended with Bohemian Rhapsody before other DJs came on. Every song was a winner and you would have known all the words. It was probably the best time Ive had in Budapest so far. Lots of beer and Brits.

Lucky Fucker.

Are you MAD fer it?!

Yes, NME, I am. You totally got me.
In a big way.

I confess: I am obsessed with the New Musical Express. I am so enamored with it again, I can't get enough. I shell out the dough every week ( $5.50--American dollars) and I giddily pour over the latest snarky and passionate ink on the news, notes and pictures of Brit musicians--the bands they are digging that week.

Right now, they are dig-dig-digging (along with the rest of the U.K.) The Arctic Monkeys. In last week's issue there was a double-sided-three-foot-long poster of the lads. It's awesome and I want to put it up on my wall.

*Their first single, "I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor" has been number one on Top Of The Pops longer (26 weeks or something insane) than any single...ever.

That fucking song is totally...TITS. It's sexy, punk, and dripping with the sweat of youth (the lads *are* 19 years old and are gawky with acne, for crying out loud). And it seriously feels like an unintentional musical revolution; a refreshing wake-up call. A year ago, these dudes were tooling around their "mum's basement" plunking out White Stripes' and Vines' covers. Hard to believe such a D.I.Y. tale when you actually hear them. They're polished.

The gem in NME last week was the long-awaited album review (finally released after months of the drooling over demos and EPs). Tim Jonze wrote it, and it is one of the most exciting pieces (both in its style and its subject matter) of music writing I have ever had the pleasure of reading. I present to you the pull-quote, ladies and gents:

"This record couldn't be anymore Saturday night unless it woke up, bleary-eyed next to a 16-stone munter with herpes."

(I am ashamed to admit then when I read that quote I thought two things: "that is so brilliant, I wish I had thought of that" and "oh fuck! that's where Bush--the mediocre British band, not the prez, got the name for their damn album. whoa.")

He inevitably quotes the first lyrics on the album: "Anticipation has a habit of setting you up/For disappointment." (journalists keep rubbing this one in your face, I've found. Rightly so--the hype is ubiquitous and um, hyperbolic, actually. This blog is case in point. I just can't help myself.)

And then, inevitably, the journalist goes on to explain why that is just not true in the case of the Arctic Monkeys. As you have seen me also go right ahead and do.

My fave bit is when he breaks it down, brilliant-like:

"Essentially this is a stripped down punk rock record with every touchstone of Great British Music covered: The Britishness of The Kinks, the melodic nous of the Beatles, the sneer of the Sex Pistols, the wit of The Smiths, the groove of The Stone Roses, the anthems of Oasis, the clatter of The Libertines..."

What was I saying about hyperbole, again?

It's so full of passion and excitement, though! I highly recommend reading the whole thing.

*Things that I have to buy at the Electric Fetus because I live in Minnesota:"Whatever People Say IAm, That's What I'm Not" and Richard Ashcroft's latest and most promising solo work! Read this about Liam singing "The Drugs Don't Work" with Richard.

A warning: I have also been into the pastime of creating mixes,analyzing the order of songs and how they affect people. And I might be in the habit of putting "I Bet That You Look Good On The Dancefloor" as the first track on all of them. Watch out...you could be next.

I'm OK, you're OK

Thanks, people. Y'all are sweet. I am doing much better, thanks. Life rolls right along. The two-year-old pup is doing great and we love him so much. (we got him in March of '04) He is totally precious, mischievous and we call him Dennis the Menace behind his back.

Meanwhile, I had to share this picture of Lester Bangs. It's his high school photo. I can't get over how handsome and innocent he looks! I just can't help but thinking of that essay he wrote about the song "Wild Thing," tied in with his adolescent lust and relating it to Salinger's Franny and Zooey (some college ass wanting a "fast duck of the dick in and out of Franny's Zen-immaculate honeypot in the backseat" humina)...is that what he's thinking about in that picture? I think so.

He's my hero.

they say

that today is the most depressing day of the year.

Sounds about right.

My dad and I had to take our oldest dog (she was 16--my dad has another one, he's 2) to be...put down or whatever the fuck you're supposed to call it. Lord. I don't even know how to type it or say it. I can't say it. My dad couldn't say it either when we went to the Humane Society.

That's where they do it, humanely (we couldn't get over what an actually great word that was) for $40. They were wonderful about it. Kind, empathetic and sweet but not saccharine.

We know we had to do it. She was 16 and she was blind and she was deaf and we know she was in pain.

But it still was really, really difficult to go and do.

And we cried a whole fucking lot. It's hard to let go, sometimes, innit? Damn.

And, yes, she was just a dog. And I didn't live at home, with her, anymore. But I got her when I was 8 years old and in the third grade. And she was there when I got home from having my first kiss (she was the first one to know about it). She was there for me when my friend, who was 18, died of cancer. She was there, with my dad in the car, waiting to pick me up, every last day of school *all* the way up to the high school years. She was there when I cried, or I was angry or upset and she always, always cheered me up--without even trying. She showered me with unconditional love every day and I know that it made me grow into a better person, just having her and caring for her.

And now she's dead and I don't want to talk about it with anyone. It is extremely rare that I don't share something this significant in my emotional world with my friends. But this is one of those occasions.

Just, somehow, I needed to write about it and tell you all (whoever really reads this thing) about it. Which, is kind of weird, considering I really never wanted to have my blog writing be this personal at all... But I needed to this time.

So. Thanks for taking it.

On a lighter note: I'm listening to Irving Berlin songs ("Cheek to Cheek," "Heatwave," "Blue Skys," etc.) right now and I can't get over how amazing he was. He is doing a great job of cheering me up right now. Thanks, Israel, you're incredible--even if you did write "God Bless America" (cheers for the antidote, Mr. Guthrie) I forgive you.

(um, did you notice that I am actually using *links* now? wow, aboutfuckingtime, right? heh)

GOT to give it up for the MAN

R.I.P. Wilson Pickett
dead at 64
Please pay respect, friends. Listen to "Mustang Sally" and revel in it-- that unmistakable voice full of soul and think of all the musicians, singers and fans he touched. Or just watch The Best Movie Ever Made About White European Kids (Irish, actually) Falling Under the Spell of R & B and Sweet Soul Music:The Commitments. Or just read the NYT obit.

Do it for me. And do it for the man.

Amen.

what rhymes with triple x?

Whew.

I want to say it's just the weather, but it's really been quite lovely.

I'd like to say it's something major and tangible and worthy, but it's not.

It's just that knotty, lumpy feeling in the throat.

Been feeling blue.

But, I feel better. Something good just happened and I feel like a ton of bricks' worth o' worry has been lifted off my shoulders, followed by a solid massage. It kinda erased all the bad...things are on the up and up.

I also did this: thought about "old"-Like A Virgin-era Madonna after reading a Bust interview with Peaches (damn, she is a muthafuckinTRIP). So I pulled out the CD liner notes (so not as cool as if I had pulled out my *vinyl* copy I have of the album*snark, snark*) Right.
And then I found this, written by the Madge in 1984:

XTRA Special Thanks to:

Nile "Boom" Rodgers
-I knew him before the butter dripped off the noodle (it looks and sounds so damn, good dunnit?)

My Family
-For nurturing my strange behavior (I don't think that actually happened, did it, "O, Father"??)

Freddy DeMann
-For knowing what to do with it (cheers to *all* the producers, songwriters, video directors and hairdressers who "knew what to do with" that It that Madonna has. Patrick Leonard, are you listening?)

Jelly Bean
-Goo Goo Ga Ga (one of my personal favorite phrases ever--a somehow sophisticated way to express that complete state of drool. extra special cuz it was her DJ/love for quite a while, there--so it's romantic)

Alito: a Springsteen fan!?

This is pretty fantastic. Courtesy of Backstreets.com:
(btw: I really, really doubt he actually is a fan. Especially after the whole Vote for Change business. Hopefully he's not....)

Also: I saw my first C.S.I this week! It was the one where they featured 9 Bruce Springsteen songs. It was just perfect--really well done, the songs were perfectly integrated and they totally wrote the story based on the songs' stories. The plot was filled with Bruce-isms: Atlantic City, "doing favors for some guy," stealing cars, a failed marriage between high school sweethearts (and yeah, she was preggers), forbidden love, escaping small town to pursue "bigger dreams and a better life," and most cinamatically: driving on the Jersey highways in the dark, dark night

ALITO V. THE CRUSHING HAND OF FATE

As reported below Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito can be counted as a Springsteen fan. The subject of the Boss actually came up in this week's confirmation hearings, in this exchange with Senator Dick Durbin from Illinois on January 11:
DURBIN: Let me ask you, if I might, to reflect on a couple other things. You're a Bruce Springsteen fan?
ALITO: I am to some degree, yes.
DURBIN: I guess most people in New Jersey would be. They should be.
ALITO: There was a movement some time ago -- we don't have an official state song and there was a movement to make "Born to Run" our official state song. But it didn't quite make it.
DURBIN: We'll stick with Lincoln in Illinois, but I can understand your commitment to Bruce Springsteen. They once asked him: How do you come up with the songs that you write and the characters that are in them? And he said, I have a familiarity with the crushing hand of fate. It's a great line. I want to ask you about the crushing hand of fate in several of your decisions....
Read the full transcript

Best Oscars ever!

Jon Stewart to Host Oscar Telecast

Mr. Stewart, 43, was appropriately humbled by the invitation. "As an avid watcher of the Oscars," he dead-panned in a statement, "I can't help but be a little disappointed with the choice."

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/01/05/movies/redcarpet/05cnd-oscars.html?hp

Look at him. Wotta heartthrob! Rarr.

The Year (as it were)

2005 brought residual depression from the Presidential election [as the Boondocks sadly noted after Katrina: "What was it that people didn't like Kerry again?" "He windsurfed."] but it also brought hope in the form of the radio: The Current. With it, as Jessica said, brought Progressive Times. Hope and excitement for the future. Like, if they play Ella Fitzgerald and The Only Ones on the fucking radio--anything is possible. I also happened to break up with my boyfriend of four years in Jan. '05, which actually brought music back into the forefront of my life, which I am really, really thankful for.
So, perfunctory as it may feel, I did feel compelled.
Here ya go:

*um, I warn ya, I prolly forgot loads of stuff that came out this year that I loved. oh well.

Best Albums of 2005:

Ike Reilly "Junkie Faithful"

Kasabian (self titled)

Kaiser Chiefs "Employment"

Bloc Party "Silent Alarm"

Beck "Guero"

Bruce Springsteen "Devils & Dust"

Fiona Apple "Extraordinary Machine"

Antony and the Johnsons "I Am a Bird Now"

BRMC "Howl"

The Caesars "Paper Tigers"

Oasis "Don't Believe The Truth"

The White Stripes "Get Behind Me Satan"

Best Films of the Year:

"Brokeback Mountain"
"King Kong"
"Jesus is Magic"
"Walk The Line"
"40-Year-Old Virgin"
"Capote"

Best TV:

"Extras"
"Six Feet Under"
"No Direction Home" Dylan doc, done by Marty.
"Rescue Me"
"Nip/Tuck"
"Curb Your Enthusiasm"
"Everybody Hates Chris"
Tony Bourdain’s "No Reservations"
Maureen Dowd all over the place.
Robert Plant on Charile Rose.

Most Memorable Shows:

The White Stripes, The Orpheum. Because Jack White is still the most talented, sexy, passionate, FORCEful guitar players I have ever seen. And I love his songs. I can’t get enough.

Ted Leo and the Pharmacists, First Ave. Mary Lucia interviewed him before hand and even though she ultimately kept her cool, she came off like a smitten school girl with Ted. With tight jeans, skinny legs and the sweats he came off like a modern day speedy, Jam-era Paul Weller. His cover of "Dancing in the Dark" was sublime.

Atmosphere, First Ave. Not because I particularly dig the music, but because my dear friend Jessica took me and opened my eyes to the Local Sensation for my First Time.

Bruce Springsteen, Xcel Center. Cuz I cried, like a fool, twice.

Le Tigre, First Ave. So many young, righteous fans. Enlightening. Inspiring. And it’s got a beat and I can dance to it.

Beck, Roy Wilkins. My millionth (actually 7th) time seeing the fucker, and I still love him. The Dinner Table Scene still takes the cake.

Others:

Best Radio Show: Lil’ Steven’s Underground Garage

Best Mix I Ever Got: (even if it was for Jim originally) The 13 Mix, by Julia.

Best Musical Image: Madonna, in heels, pink underwear and Farrah Fawcett hair humping a large boom box in the fantastic video for "Hung Up." Followed by hip pumps and hand rolls, it’s pure dance-sex-music-gay-man-anthem-New York-club-Saturday Night Fever-style; y’know, Pure Madonna.

*Runner Up: Shakira. Dancing and singing. Anywhere, anytime. Damn.

Best gift I ever bought myself (this year or EVER): My Beloved iPod.

Things I Should Have Been Listening to My Whole Life But Just Discovered/Realized The Greatness of This Year:

Link Wray
Sonic Youth
The Misfits
Peaches
The Birthday Party
Elvis Presley
Chuck Berry

Undying Love/Obsessions Renewed By Proving Their Worth With New Releases:

Madonna, "Confessions on a Dance Floor"

Bruce Springsteen "Devils and Dust" and the reissuing & 30th anniversary of "Born to Run"
album as well as live performances on DVD from the Hammersmith Odeon show. (Bruce battles that fucking hat)

Neil Young, "Prairie Wind"

Robert Plant, "Mighty Rearranger"

Rolling Stones, "A Bigger Bang"


PS These are Songs That I Keep Listening To at the moment.....

*brought to you with the assistance of the iPod feature, "25 Most Played Songs"

"Listen to Your Heart" Roxette (my first cassette I ever bought myself)
"Paper Tigers" Caesars
"C’mon, C’mon" The Von Bondies
"Suspicious Minds" Elvis
"29 Palms" Robert Plant"
"Solitary Man" Neil Diamond
"We Can Work It Out" Beatles (so Paul)
"Nothing Really Matters" Madge
"Be My Enemy" The Departure
"Some Kinda Hate" The Misfits
"Kara Dean" Ike Reilly

Get Ready

Happy New Year, everyone! Thanks to everyone who came to the party; it was a total success. Y'all rule. Even if my landlord doesn't think so....

And with the new year brings bloody nipples! To find out what the hell I'm talking about check out http://olyrun06.blogspot.com/