there she is

Hollywood brains and beauty and the Other...

One of the many reasons I love both Jessica and Paul: they diligently read those great, witty blogs and sites that discuss (usually ridicule) celebs and what they’re wearing or who they’re sleeping with, etc. In that sense, it ain’t saptastic People mag, y'know? It seems more British than that: snarky, clever, and sometimes cruel. In our excessive, yet totally necessary1.5 million emails a day to each other, Jessica occasionally provides me with pearls from those sites. She is my source.

The woman they choose to love is Charlize Theron, apparently (me too, of course). I believe this comes from the same source that had a three picture “story” telling of Ms. Theron smoking The Other out of an apple, with the third photo of her just giggling. Awesome.


from "D-listed"

I've said it many times, but I think Charlize Theron has to be the perfect woman. She's hot, she's got a body and she loves weed. She also dresses straight-out of Dynasty and that's why I love her. I could never say a bad thing about her and I would probably go downtown on her after like 10 drinks and a $100 bill.

and then there's this gem (this one's for you and me, Phil):

Scarlett Johansson is Sexually Overwhelming

11:24 AM, Filed under: Home \ Celebrities \ Scarlett Johansson

Scarlett Johansson is the type of girl who makes you forget simple words like "door" and "spoon" and "urglflurts," so it's no surprise that Woody Allen finds her "Sexually Overwhelming." But not only is Scarlett incredibly sexy, she's a smart cookie too. According to The Sun, Woody was intimidated by Scarlett's beauty, and the fact that she can give as good as she gets when it comes to the witty repartee.

"It's very hard to be extra witty around a sexually overwhelming, beautiful young woman who is wittier than you are. Anytime I say anything amusing, Scarlett tops me."

The Only Ones *may* be the Best Band Ever

"I don't ever wanna sleep again

now that I've found real love"

Peter Perrett, The Only Ones

"[Spontanity] may be the only thing we have in common with punk."

The New York Times and shit

This is a really, really good article about the 'Mats. Ahem.

The Things I Do ...

would make a slut blush blue.

But, I can't get outta what I'm into.

Doesn't Liz Phair have a way with words?

I got back from Chi on Saturday night and I am still recovering. It was bombastic, Chi..... Everything: Elizabeth's hood, venues, the dancing, the record store, the book stores, the fooooooood.

I still have the need to write about the Madonna Experience. I took copious notes....I had to. It was too mind-blowing not to. To see her was so goddamn surreal, since America's eyes have been so lavished with Madonna's *image* for the past 20 years, it is simply bizarre to see her in person. That's what I always read, too. People continually say "in person--she's more beautiful and more short than you would imagine."

I agree.

This tiny, gorgeous creature on that hugenormous stage. There she was, in the flesh, that luminous, whiter shade-of-pale-flesh. Pumping out the dance moves, sweating, grinding, writhing, and shaking her hot-as-can-be-47-year-old t & a. It became immediately obvious how she captivated the world.

It was her gams! Or, to put it more a bit more dignified, (as Camille Paglia likes to use in her essays on Madonna) her original aspirations and schooling were *dance* dreams. She is a dancer. A stripper. A sculpted body. An artist. A workhorse. She just *happened* to stumble on this pop star, singer thing and it really fucking worked. And she wanted people to join her. She really wanted Everybody, to dance and sing, get up and do their thing. Oh, and she's not just a bod, she happens to be bloody *brilliant.* She continued what Debbie Harry (and others!) started before her: she uses her sex *with* her smarts to get the world...off.

She still does get us all off and (granted, this is part of the tightly scripted Show) tells the "MUTHAFUCKERS" in the front ("you must be the rich people," she says to the cheers of the nosebleeds) to get up and dance, too. This is effective.

Perhaps the *most* effective bits of the whole show were the moments (several songs) that had her alone on the stage, just singing and dancing by herself. Working up a sweat, mussing up her longer-than-I-expected blonde, "perfect" hair, to a sweaty mane of hair she whipped around reckessly (with intent).

The best example was the sultry, Chicago-esque (the musical) rendering of "Like It Or Not." Not one of my faves from Confessions, but it became a favorite after the show. It was just her and a chair on the edge of the catwalk (closest to us). She worked that chair and the crowd, boy. And somehow, just somehow, it was intimate. She made that huge arena feel a little smaller, for a few minutes. It almost felt like it was an audition. That kind of wanting-to-please attitude she can't seem to shake. Course...the lyrics are "this is who I am/ you can like it or not/ you can take me or leave me/ I'm never gonna stop/ no, no, no, no." [= fuck all y'all; punk rock]

So, yes. She clearly loves approval, but *clearly* she also loves to...."upset" people [on the cross for "Live to Tell"...ON THE FUCKING CRUCIFIX!!!]. This made me think of mean, mad, upsetters and just how fucking punk rock Madonna is. Yes. Sofuckingpunk.

At this punk house I used to hang at when I was 18, all the Ramones/Stiff Little Fingers/Sex Pistols/ et al.-loving punks *all* dug the Madonna, man. They totally all knew the words to "Lucky Star" kinda thing. Check that video, man. She certainly looked liked she smelled like a punk.

//////more to come//////

presenting herself to us earthlings, from DiscoPod

why

she...is...my...icon.

Bruce on Sunday; Madonna on Wednesday. This is a dream. I will wake up soon.

I am living in a fantasy world.

Oh, and I have a song-obsession. A new one! An unexpected one!

It's Ryan Adams' "To Be Young (Is to Be Sad, Is to Be High)." At first I thought the lyrics were insipid and that the music was a wild rip off of, well, pretty much everything off of "Highway 61 Revisited," but then I got totally fucking addicted. And I embraced both the lyrics and the rollicking (however Dylan it might be) ride. And it's so goddamn catchy. It's sick. The way he shouts, all fuckeduplike, "I got HIGH!" is perfecto and totally reckless and true. Then, outta nowhere comes this sweet, disarming bridge--and then right back into the high recklessness. Brilliant.

I realize how late I am on this train. I was totally resistant to everything Ryan Adams. The Hype machine surrounding "Heartbreaker," his stupid cockiness, the Winona Ryder biznass, the BREAK DOWN(s!) at First Ave. [eye roll gets inserted here]. I dismissed him as a whiny hipster.

But now, I know that this is what I wanna hear to kick off my road trip to Chi with Erica that will begin promptly at 8 am tomorrow morning. Where are you going? *you are probably *not* wondering?* I will answer anyway, for it is consuming my thoughts.

MADONNA.

at the United Center. In Chicago. Opening night of a four gig stand.

Holy hell. It's all happening.

When you're young..................................it's all about the Road Trip for the MUSIC, cat.

You dig?

the original Lads

I wanna turn you inside out

Found out the quick way that "8 Miles High," by the Byrds is about amphetamines [read explanation below**]. (I have been listening to a lot of the Byrds lately–I just got the box set so Jeremy would be proud of me. [snark snark]. And:

Led Zeppelin, everything
IKE, everything
Bob Marley, Babylon By Bus
Madge, Confessions and early, early
Oasis–bootlegs, mostly
and the Byrds made me pick up my ol’ records of Tom Petty, Wildflowers, Full Moon Fever
Love Comes in Spurts–a live Richard Hell version. YOWZA.
Fiona Apple, Extraordinary Machine
Van Morrison, Astral Weeks
Richard Ashcroft, the new one and the Verve
Raconteurs, Broken Boy Soldiers

and I am really, really grooving on the the Kasabian record that FLOORED me this past fall. Jessica and were gonna see ‘em and they cancelled a show here, which is both bogus and lame. Looking forward to the new "naughty" one!

Oh

and

um,

THE MUTHAFUCKING CLASH

Um, Stone Roses [it’s those last two songs. Holy christ are they brilliant.] ...and Arctic Monkeys have still *not* left the building.

Not even close. (sodontyoueventhinkit)

sadly, not much else...I need more new music. When don’t I?


**Oh, OK, so my lil’ Q book ("The Greatest Rock & Pop Miscellany Ever!!") *does* really contain the world’s best quick-pick-up random-mania facts about rock and pop music that you could imagine. [okay, okay, this is clearly yet another: why I am a raging Anglophile. I know it.]
Examples that I feel compelled to share with you. Here there are (yes I’m typing them all out. I like to):

ELVIS’S DRUGS
When Elvis died in 1977, there were 14 different drugs in his bloodstream. According to the autopsy performed on The King, he overdosed on significant amounts of codeine, methaqualone, ethinamate and various barbit urates; the coroner also found traces of morphine, valium, demerol, meperdine, placidly and chloropheniramine.

THE WIT AND WISDOM OF THE GALLAGHERS
PART ONE
"I still love George Harrison as a songwriter in the Beatles, but as a person I think he’s a fucking nipple. And if I ever meet him I’ll fucking tell him. And if you’re watching, NIPPLE!"
Liam, MTV Europe.

"She looks like some fucking tart from fucking Newcastle."
Noel on Christina Aguilera, Sunday Telegraph

[I have never laughed so hard at the word "nipple" in all my goddamn life.]

THREE STEPS TO HEAVEN
AS 50s rocker Eddie Cochran sang, there are three steps to Heaven. As life travels on and things do go wrong, just follow steps one, two and three:
Step 1: You find a girl you love
Step 2: She falls in love with you
Step 3: You kiss and hold her tightly


And if yer hungry fer more! This book also goes to prove that Noel is the single greatest sound-bite/wisdom giver of all rock-history!

this was the lead photo on the NYT website

is that crazyawesomeWEIRD to anyone else?

lovin' Ike

R.I.P. to the fifth, black Beatle

so sad.

what a loss!

allthosesongsaboutheroin

I have this...gash on my thigh.

It's from Ike's guitar.

Years ago, Cate got knocked in the noggin by Ike's mic stand.

All those drunken rowdy shows are just bound to produce some rock injuries. I wear my blood with pride.

Oh, and the Mr. Reilly has some fucking killer new songs (as always). Like he says, "they just come really fast and easy for me." Guess so....damn. And Craigers....oh, Craig. The single most Clash-like-individual that's ever lived. We listened to "Black Market Clash" and it was just about the best thing ever to see him shout along with Strummer (and join in myself).

Let it begin: THE SUMMER OF STRUMMER. Not the first, and it won't be the last. Jim wants to have a Summer of the Stones and that's cool. It makes sense. I just need the Clash right now.

Chiefly, because it's happening again: what named the Clash. That powerful word in the headlines of the newspaper.

Ohhhh, and looky here. I found it in my routine search of pix of Sid. It's creepy and interesting. I thought it would have some validity by the use of Ophelia on the top of the page (my hamster's name when I was 10, cuz I was clearly Lisa Simpson--vaguely)

(you know, Sid was named after Johnny's hamster......)

the Brits and their fookin' lists. I'm always mad fer it.

Oh, NME, you crazy wankahs! Actually, it's those amnesiac readers/fans...putting Oasis above the Beatles...

Ludicrous. Silly. Blasphemous!

BUT, still so fun to see...And you know Noel and Liam will be howlin' about it. It also proves my undeniable Anglophilia and how much the British music journalism machine preaches to me and my loves. (with the exception of the fucking Strokes and overrated-like-no-other-band-in-recent-history, Radiohead. OK Computer always tops these lists and I'm so sick of it. [rolls eyes]

One question, Brits: Where's the Verve? C'mon!!!

Best album of all time revealed
NME.COM poll has some surprising results

Oasis debut 'Definitely Maybe' has been voted the best album of all time in an NME.COM poll.The Guinness Book of British Hit Singles & Albums teamed up with NME.COM to celebrate 50 years of the Official UK Album Chart.Not only have Oasis secured the top spot, but their 1995 album '(What's The Story) Morning Glory?' is at Number Five.The Manchester lads' heroes, The Beatles, were at second and third place in the poll with 'Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band' and 'Revolver'. Radiohead also scored two albums in the top ten, with 'OK Computer' at Number Four and 'The Bends' at Number Ten.Editor of The Guinness Book of British Hit Singles & Albums, David Roberts, said the poll shows that great albums will always last. He said: "Usually these polls are full of records that people have only just bought because they are freshest in the mind. Only two albums in the Top 20 were released in the last five years, so the voters have clearly thought long and hard about their decision."

The most recent album to feature in the Top 20 is The Libertines' debut, 'Up The Bracket', at Number 15.

The full Top 20 is as follows:

1. 'Definitely Maybe' - Oasis
2. 'Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band' - The Beatles
3. 'Revolver' - The Beatles
4. 'OK Computer' - Radiohead
5. '(What's The Story) Morning Glory?' - Oasis
6. 'Nevermind' - Nirvana
7. 'The Stone Roses' - The Stone Roses
8. 'Dark Side Of The Moon' - Pink Floyd
9. 'The Queen Is Dead' - The Smiths
10. 'The Bends' - Radiohead
11. 'The Joshua Tree' - U2
12. 'London Calling' - The Clash
13. 'The Beatles (The White Album)' - The Beatles
14. 'Abbey Road' - The Beatles
15. 'Up The Bracket' - The Libertines
16. 'Never Mind The Bollocks Here's The Sex Pistols' - Sex Pistols
17. 'Four Symbols (Led Zeppelin IV)' - Led Zeppelin
18. 'The Rise And Fall Of Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars' - David Bowie
19. 'A Night At The Opera' - Queen
20. 'Is This It' - The Strokes